I have been struggling lately, with a few things.. First off, Being married is ALOT harder than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being married! But it is hard.. Learning to adjust to life that isn't just about ME anymore has been difficult. Yes, I admit that I was/still am spoiled. Except Michael doesn't give me everything I want which I am totally greatful for. He is an amazing husband, I have realized a lot in these 2 short month of being married. Life is hard. Marriage is hard. Money situations are hard. Jobs are hard. Worrying about paying bills for BOTH of you and not just for yourself, making sure he is happy, fed, the house is clean, the laundry is done, the dishes are done, and on and on.. Its all just hard! BUT I am loving every minute of it! I have figured out a lot about myself in the last two months that I never knew! It has been a great ride, and I'm so happy that I get to stay on it forever! I was venting to my mom the other night about how hard it was and how it is not as easy as I had imagined.. You know like, Being so in love you can't take your eyes off of each other, always holding hands and cuddling every second you're together, ALWAYS laughing, Never fighting, And just being PERFECT! But boy did reality hit me hard. My mom said something that I will always remember that has helped me the past couple of days. She said "Marriage has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, But it is the most rewarding!" I love that! How true that is. It is hard, But it sure is rewarding! Yeah I've only been married a couple months but I can already see how rewarding it is, and I love it.
Another thing I have been struggling with which is kind of dumb and irrelevant.. Is Michael goes and plays basketball 2 days a week, and he is gone for what seems like forever! And I just sit at home, clean, clean, and clean, and watch netflix. At first it was nice to have some 'me' time, but now i am getting bored and depressed.. He is out having fun and I'm stuck at home doing nothing.. I feel like i don't have friends. (I know i do and thats why this is dumb) But I don't hang out with anyone. When I was Single I felt like all my friends were married and didn't have time for me anymore or they didn't want to hang out with a single person. Now that I'm married I feel like nobody wants to hang out with me because they all have kids and I don't, Kind of back to square one. Michael doesn't seem to have this problem, we always hang out with his friends! Single, Married, Engaged yada yada yada.. But we have hung out with some of my friends MAYBE twice since we have been together! I don't know if its me or if I really don't have friends.. But it is really starting to get to me. I guess I just need to put myself out there more. And this is the start of it! Baby steps..
-Branae
(If you read this, thank you for listening to me vent. You are awesome!)
No comments:
Post a Comment